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I’ll have a good week, waking and sleeping like a model citizen, Ben Franklin style. Up at six, bed by nine. It’s funny, waking up with the morning light, it really is perky. Especially if you have nothing to do. But then time slides. You have a good book in hand, and even though you’re sleepy, the pages are delicious. And the sleepiness is delicious too, a rich undiscovered indulgence. Sleep, that’s only an undiscovered country. But sleepiness: now that’s pleasure, a sweet decadence. Like dancing, fucking, getting high. An elixir sprinkled on your eyelids and left to tingle, shooting quicksilver deep into the eddies of your brain. And so it goes. A few nights suffice before I’m up to three am. I can hold that pattern for a couple of weeks, but then inevitably 3 turns to 4, and soon there’s that same perky morning light creeping up behind the blinds. A stern greybeard Apollo glaring in judgment. Probably it’s Jehovah, in fact. Old bastard. Then I’ll be up till noon. Soon enough. But. Then he took a mixer and played around with it a bit to extend the show, until that too was roguishly inserted in his pants. By now the well-oiled crowd were cheering him on, completely caught up in his edgy act. The whole bar crowded closer and closer around us and I was surrounded by the surprisingly-heady smell of alcohol and sweat, which only heightened the atmosphere. Still, I was nervous, shaking all over as I lay there, a taut and expectant sacrifice. Some sort of participation was clearly very soon going to be expected of me and I didn’t know how far it would go, how I would react. During his show he had stayed close to me all along, a touch here and there as he was doing his work. Now he leaned over me and whispered in my ear, his breath warm and personal as a kiss. He smelled deliciously of work and play, fresh and feral all together. “Are you with me? Can I carry on?” I couldn’t do more than nod as my mouth was still balancing the cherry he had placed there. “Pinch me.
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